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The Friendship Challenge

I have written a post on happiness before. In that post, I mentioned that one of my major happiness boosters is spending time with friends. My conception is that many people feel that way about having quality time with friends too. Making new friends also helps to foster happiness. As we maintain already built friendships, we should look for ways to make new friends too. Never feel like you do not need more people in your life unless the people that you have been meeting have characters that you find repelling. Being that I have a strong passion for social justice and entrepreneurship, I am determined to connect with people who share my interests, on social networks; go out to more events when I get back to Canada from my summer-long vacation and of course, be more outspoken about my interests. My aim is to meet people who share my interests, and build a friendship with such people. Also, by being more social I will have more sources of happiness added to my life. So, I encourage everyone to be well involved in their community and in life in general. However, make sure that you do not overcrowd your calendar with extra-curricular activities, even though they are useful. If you fill up your calendar with too much extracurricular activities in the midst of your daily tedious schedule, what should be fun would become stressful. Earlier this week, my friend, Jemmy, gave me a task which I have named The Friendship Challenge. She wrote: “I’m giving you an assignment: one new name by the end of the week”. “Hang out in common places and say hi! Should be an interesting experiment”. I was skeptical about it for a bit, then I thought it was a good challenge. I hate to be negative on this, but I don’t know how well I am going to fair on the “experiment” as I am in a new city for the summer, I don’t know the area well and using the pubic transport often, will cost some money. However, with the Friendship Challenge, I am determined to meet at least one new person every week. This challenge has given me somewhat of a happiness boost. I am transferring The Friendship Challenge to you too. The only exception is that you do not have to report to me. However, make a goal to speak to at least one new person by the end of every week. The person may not seem interested in following up with you, but give it a try. Give new friendships a try!

My Question For You

Have you ever had to do a Friendship Challenge? If yes, what was the experience like?  

Love & Peace,

Chiamaka.    

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What We Can Learn from Our Favourite Entertainers

Happy Summer everyone!!:) Every one has entertainers (**focusing on musicians for this post**) that he or she admires very much. The first thing that is most likely to bring about the attraction is their art – their voice, their lyrics, their moves; before anything else. In our eyes, our favourite musicians are perfect at what they do. It seems like their perfection is innate. However, if you take a moment to ponder on all those things that make your favourite musicians special, you will reach a point where entertainment becomes inspirational. At this point, you can understand their ‘perfection’ and you can believe that you can also be seen to be connoisseur in our own different or maybe even similar field, in your own unique way. Entertainers create from their talent and they build upon their talent through entrepreneurship. Let’s look at the steps one by one: – Talent: Every human being has a talent. The responsibility to find what we are good at and do it rests on us. If you are a fan of Michael Jackson, you would probably agree that when you watch him performing, there is usually a sudden rush of euphoria that takes over the body. Then there is also that period of perplexity at how a human being could be so talented. Some like me would say that no one can ever perform as good as Michael Jackson. However, just like Michael Jackson, anyone can explore his/her own talent unapologetically (like Michael) and be an expert in his/her own art. – Create: Entertainers create with their talent. No human being was born an expert at anything. As you live, you learn and amend. Successful entertainers have toiled to be professionals at singing/rapping or at singing/rapping and dancing because they found either of those things to be what they love to do. Discover your strengths, work on them and create from your talent. Be unapologetic with your talent(s). Don’t think of the negative things that people may say and must importantly, do not be negative yourself. Your talents are yours to explore, not to waste. – Build: This is that stage after you have determined what your talent is and you have started putting it to work. When you do what you love, you are automatically building. You are building up a list of admirers, a list of references, a list of fans and definitely, you are building for yourself, lots of opportunities. It is indeed true that nothing beats talent because that is the only thing coupled with passion that can yield positive results. People love high achievers, hence why I mentioned above that you will establish for yourself, a lot of useful resources by sticking to your talent and doing what you love. Also, when you create on your talent, you are automatically building a brand.

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Some of our favourite musicians build; they are entrepreneurs with them being their own brand. Their names fill up concert halls, sell tickets and their names persuade people, their stories have a deeper meaning to their fans and thus, their stories motivate e.t.c.  50 Cent is an author, Britney Spears has a fragrance business; Michael Jackson continues to make even money after his death – why? Michael Jackson, the human being was a brand, thanks to all his hard work. My task for you today is that you think of the exact things that make you admire your favourite musicians and find a way to connect those things that make them seem ‘extraordinary’ to your own interests. Make the best of your talents, my friends. Also, tomorrow will mark the 5th anniversary of Michael Jackson’s death. He is my top favourite musician and reflecting on his life inspired me to write this post. Thank you, Michael, for all the love, joy and inspiration that you put into our world. Keep resting in peace.

Love & Peace,

Chiamaka.        

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Between An Enormous GDP and The Possibility of A Catastrophe In B.C.

On Tuesday, the federal government of Canada approved of Enbridge Inc.’s Northern Gateway pipeline proposal. If you are not very familiar with what this proposal entails, here is a summary: – The Northern Gateway pipeline project if undertaken, will reportedly generate $300 billion to Canada’s GDP at the point of the project’s completion. – The pipelines if finally put in place, will constantly transfer oil from Bruderheim in Alberta, to Kitimat in British Columbia, for a while. The federal government approved of the proposal and have given it a ‘go ahead’ as long as some conditions are met. Those conditions being that: – the project must meet the 209 conditions suggested by the National Energy Board – B.C.’s Aboriginal community gives its opinion on the project These conditions are yet to be met. You might be wondering, “Why all these procedures?” Well, research shows that about 30% of the people living in the North Coast of B.C., where Kitimat is located, depend on the marine industry for jobs. Also, if you are Canadian or if you have ever been to B.C., you will know that the province is surrounded by lots of water and vegetation. A beautiful province. It does not come as a surprise that the province attracts tourists. In the North Coast of B.C. as is probably the case in other parts of B.C., people spend time at the waters for recreation. Research shows that residents get food from the waters too – that is cost-effective. TBCCWDisplay.ms

Now, there are talks of placing oil-carrying pipelines in the Kitimat waters for economic gain. However, what happens if the Northern Gateway project gets executed and an oil spill occurs? No other part of the country is bound to suffer like B.C. . The vibrant waters of the North Coast of the province will be highly polluted, jobs will be lost, tourism may be affected and the cost of living in the area will increase. A majority of British Columbians have opposed the Northern Gateway project including many of B.C.’s First Nations peoples. The government of British Columbia is yet to give the proposal a ‘Yes’. It has set out five conditions – http://ow.ly/i/5X3lX that must all be met before the project can be executed. However, with conditions or no conditions, the Northern Gateway pipeline proposal as hard as it is to resist, is not a project that should be given much positive consideration for execution. If the Northern Gateway pipeline project gets underway and something goes wrong, British Columbia’s environment and economy will be affected badly. Every Canadian wants our economy to keep getting better and better, but definitely not at the expense of so many important factors. To the Canadian public, our politicians and to all British Columbians, let us not allow the Kitimat environment and the environment of British Columbians as a whole, to be put at risk. Let us say ‘No’ to this Enbridge proposal.

Peace,

Chiamaka.  

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Defeating Depression and Striving For A Fulfilled Life

On Christmas day last year, I saw a lady attempt to commit suicide. I was in Colorado for the December break. I can still remember the scene pretty well. The lady laid down on the road, where cars where supposed to be passing! Cars halted and finally, someone got her to stand up. The scene got me emotional. Why would someone want to die that way?, why did she choose Christmas day?, why did she want to end her life? – these were the questions that I asked myself that day. The answers to those questions, I could only imagine. One thing was for sure though – the lady was unhappy. Unhappiness is an inveterate degrader. It makes us think negative of ourselves and others. We cannot feel beautiful, handsome, hopeful or strong when we let unhappiness take the best of us. Don’t dwell on those people/those things that make you unhappy. If you can’t control yourself when it comes to dwelling on anger and unhappy events (a situation that I often find myself in), seek the services of a close friend, close family member(s). If all these people don’t seem to be very effective, waste no time and book an appointment with a therapist. A truth which may be hard to believe is that life is not perfect for anyone. Everybody has problems – they are an inevitable feature that comes with living. I like the following quote by Sam Cawthorn: “The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything but they make the most of everything.” Although I have this inner mantra that I can never kill myself, I have thought of doing it several times. If I had ever succeeded in killing myself, I definitely would have missed out on a lot of things that ended up bringing happiness to my life. I would have missed out on some amazing new people that have come into my life. Of course, I would have missed out on my passion for using my writing to try to make positive change in the human mind and in the world. Do I still get sad? Yes, I do. Do I feel hopeless at times? Oh, yes. Can I escape such feelings while living? No, but I would rather keep training myself to focus on the positive knowing that I, like everyone else was created to accomplish a purpose in the midst of obstacles. So, I hope that you will start practising to “make the most” of life! Also, be a helper to those in your life who are suffering from depression or constant unhappiness. Don’t look down on them. Encourage them to be stronger. If needed, help seek treatment for such people. Sending you all lots of happiness and positive energy. Wish someone the same today:)

Love & Peace,

Chiamaka.  

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Do You Ever Burn The Black and The Grey?

A 9am to 5pm job, schoolwork, family responsibilities are just a few examples of the many useful things that we focus on so much that we make them seem like bad things. We focus a great deal on such things that we forget about balance. We forget to make time to unwind –  work-out, have a good laugh at the movies, have a good time with friends, explore the city that we live in, we may even forget to make time to cook, e.t.c. However, we should not forget about such things and the likes of them that lighten the inevitable hard work and persistence that come with living. When you balance your life by making time to both work and play, you give yourself room to de-stress and be a happier person. Get a gym membership, join a sports team, join a book club, register for a fun volunteer job in your community e.t.c. Good planning is a great way to ensure that you are living a balanced life. Plan what you hope to accomplish each day and within each daily schedule, make sure you set out time to relax. Don’t fill your whole schedule for a day, with work. Making time to eat is not the same as making time to rest. Another key to achieving a balanced life is to believe that you deserve to be happy. Really, you do! While it’s great to work your best to make a name/a living for yourself, and also to maintain order in the household, it is not good to not have a plan B for when our positive goals tweak us. When we don’t have a plan B, we get stressed at failed plans and our mood easily becomes overcome by such failed plans. Rest when you feel like it. Don’t rest or have fun only when your plans get perfect. Gradually work together with your family members to make things right when there are problems. Never lose hope in success. Make plans to ensure that you are living a balanced life. Do away with the dullness of doing the same thing over and over again. Time will sort things out. If something doesn’t work out today – tomorrow, next week, next year holds hope.

My Questions For You – What do you do to balance your life? – If you have ever been at a stage where you did not make enough time to have fun, how did that feel? Let me know!

Love,

Chiamaka.  

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The Honourable Roméo Dallaire – Canada’s International and Local Hero

Some people do not go through life working and struggling to bring benefits solely to themselves. Some people live for themselves and others – strangers. As a human race, in one way or the other, we are reaping from a familiar stranger’s struggle. When Nelson Mandela died he was celebrated across the world for not only giving freedom to black South Africans but also, for freeing the minds of many from across the world from the bondage of prejudice, stereotyping and hate. How many people who celebrated the life of Madiba in December 2013 ever met him? Definitely not a lot of us. Yet, people like him, the three fallen Moncton Royal Canadian Mounted Police officers, MLK Jnr., and other amazing people that the world has seen and those that we are still blessed to have around, are to us familiar strangers. Some familiar strangers sacrifice having a simple, happy life so that others who need such luxury will have it. Recently, I skimmed across an announcement that Canadian Independent Liberal Senator, The Honourable Roméo Dallaire, will be retiring from the Senate this June. What caught my attention and what has had him on my mind since then, was his story.

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Roméo Dallaire served as the commander of the United Nations Assistance Mission for Rwanda (UNAMIR) from 1993 to 1994. The goal of this establishment of 1993 was to restore peace in a then-troubled Rwanda. Dallaire witnessed the Rwandan genocide. During the genocide, he protected the targeted group – the Tutsis. Governments in Canada clearly admired his work and service as Dallaire was awarded several positions here after his service in Rwanda. In 1994, He was appointed the Deputy Commander of Land Force Command in Saint-Hubert, Quebec. In that same year, Dallaire held the position of Commander of 1st Canadian Division. He was appointed a Liberal Senator in March 2005 thus automatically gaining the title – The Honourable. Despite being a victim of post-traumatic stress disorder, Dallaire continues to serve Canadians and all peoples. He continues to seek ways to make a difference and ways to correct some wrongs that he had noticed from his experience in Rwanda during war times. He is a Co-Director of The Will to Intervene (W2I) Project. Dallaire is also the founder of the Child Soldiers Initiative – childsoldiers.org. At the front page of the website is a statement by Dallaire – “The ultimate focus of the rest of my life is to eradicate the use of child soldiers and to eliminate even the thought of the use of children as an instrument of war.” It is no surprise that The Honourable Roméo Dallaire’s retirement announcement was responded to with prints that signify gratitude and loss. Upcoming ‘loss’ of a man with a huge heart and upcoming ‘loss’ of a great Canadian politician, come June 17th, 2014. Then, gratitude for all the things that we think we are going to lose. However, there is no loss. Dallaire’s contributions to Rwanda and to Canada will never be erased. I admire L’honorable (The Honourable) Roméo Dallaire for being a selfless human being, a likely familiar stranger who continues to put in effort to make change in our world. I hope to meet L’honorable Dallaire someday. On behalf of all Canadians and all citIzens of the world, Merci beaucoup L’honorable Roméo Dallaire.

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Relationships; Protecting & Opening Your Heart

My bestie. My ride or die. My day one. My BFF. Those are some appreciative, loving slangs that I don’t see myself using on anyone other than my sister and a future lover. Here’s the thing behind that – I am scared of trust. I am scared of wholly trusting someone who is not my sister, brother, father, mother or romantic partner (someone who has shown so much love to me to the point that I could take him in as family). This fear resulted from others’ stories of betrayal and also my personal experiences of disappointment from people that I trusted. Fear of disappointment resides within every individual. However, it should not hinder us from being the best people that we can be. We are all human and no human being is lacking of imperfection. I have failed people, and people have failed me too. My encounter with imperfection and disappointments in friendships have caused me to be patient in my relationships with amazing people. I try to reward some of my friends who I really appreciate. Trust me, I don’t use the technique of let’s share secrets with each other to keep my relationships blooming. However, I organize meet ups with them, call them non-extreme, but sweet and appreciative romantic names like Boo, Honey, Darling; I invite them to events that I will be attending. Also, thanks to technology, I check up on my good friends often. Good friendships are amazing. They boost your happiness, give you positive energy when you feel down and they empower you to keep being who you are as staying true to you has attracted some wonderful people into your life. Don’t be an Island, make friends, be good to your friends, be patient with the ones that make you happy and move away from those that make you sad and probably, make you doubt yourself. Yesterday, my sister and I had lunch with a friend, Omolade, who we had not seen in a while. We had lots of genuine bursts of laughter and it was a bonding moment. It was so admirable to see that a friendship that was built in a short period has stood the test of time, and holds a great deal of love. My sister still asks me in awe – How come she (Omolade) loves me like this? There must always be angels amidst a mixed up, confusing crowd.

My Questions For You? – Does  your fear of betrayal/disappointment restrict you in your relationships with people? – What are some things that you hope to do to build relationships with people? (Personally, I aim to start greeting my neighbours!)

Love & Peace,

Chiamaka.        

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Can You Always Be True To Yourself?

Differences exist among every individual and in every society, and in one way or the other. The realization of difference requires tolerance. With tolerance comes moderation and self-control. The need to accommodate difference will certainly not give us the ability to express our heart’s desires to the fullest. If you are rich, you don’t want to tell everyone you meet about how you have lots and lots of diamonds. If you are religious, you don’t want to offer to pray with a friend/someone who you do not know much about. If you are a very achieving student, it will be wise that you do not brag too much about your scholarships and other accolades to a student who you know is struggling with his/her academics. It is good to note again that tolerance requires moderation. You can imply that you are rich, smart or religious without sparking jealousy, disgust or envy, through moderation. Don’t say too much. For example, “I love wearing diamonds” – Full stop. There is no need to give an exact amount of how many you have, and also, there is no need to give information on how you got them. Tolerance has a huge role to play in terms of managing difference. It helps us respect the choices that people have made for themselves though they might be different from ours. Also, tolerance provides great immunity to unmoderated comments and attitudes. I have had real life experiences with intolerance: I live in Canada. I have lived here for nearly 3 years, and I have noticed that not everyone associates with religion (pretty much the opposite of my country, Nigeria), and I have also heard people make fun of others’ religion. I find such acts really irritating and unnecessary. Anyway, after making that observation, I tried to limit using such statements as the following in my conversations with people who I don’t know too well – “my friend from church”, “when I came back from church”. However, I was determined to not fully compromise one of the things that means a lot to me because of people’s perceptions. Thus, I decided that I have to feel free to use such statements as those I tried to stop using above, without going into too much details. In most parts of Nigeria, you can easily mention that you practice either Christianity or Islam, to anyone. However, beyond those two religions, no other beliefs or the lack there of are accepted. Tolerance is extremely valid. It enables us to accept others totally and even learn more about them and why they act in certain ways, why they have certain beliefs, preferences e.t.c. Understanding difference helps us to be moderate in our relationships with people. It will help us to determine what to say, when to say it, how it say it and whether or not to say what we want to say.

My Questions For You

– What are those things that you try not to bring up in your conversations with people that you do not know too well?

– Is there a particular area of your life where you feel that tolerance is needed?  

Love,

Chiamaka.  

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Nadya Kwandibens; Touring Canada To Shatter Stereotypes Through Photography

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Pictured above: Nadya Kwandibens

The negative portrayal of Aboriginals by the Canadian media and sometimes, by members of the Canadian public is something that has been of great concern to me. So also have been other forms of mistreatment of Canada’s Indigenous peoples. Yesterday, I had a Skype interview with popular Aboriginal-Canadian photographer, Nadya Kwandibens. What got me interested in interviewing her was the nature of her job – Nadya tours Canada capturing happy, beautiful and very impressive images of Indigenous communities. Ms. Kwandibens’s images are in great contrast from the sad representations of Aboriginals that are promoted by the Canadian public. Aboriginals are usually portrayed as people who are not peace-seeking, constant irrational complainers, and as people who possess a culture that hinders them from progressing. I am so glad that I got to interview Nadya. I love that she has moved out of her comfort zone to deconstruct very harmful stereotypes. Here are the excerpts of my interview with Nadya: – Tell us a little about yourself I am 35 years old. I am Ojibwa. Originally from Northwestern Ontario – a small reserve called Northwest Angle thirty-seven. About an hour South of Kenora. However, I moved to British Columbia(BC). Right now, I am on tours. I will be on the road for a month and a half or so, not as long as the tours that I have done in the past. I run a photography company called Redworks Photography. It is a dynamic touring photography company. I am on the road for pretty much most of the year. – When did you establish Redworks Photography? I founded it in 2008. – Before then, did you use to tour or it was after you started the company that you began to tour? Really, how it all began was I started doing portrait photography. Up until then, it had only been a hobby. It was about a year or so after I started doing portraits that I began professionally shooting in 2006. So after about a year and a half or so, that’s when I started touring. I thought, you know, the only way to get more exposure and get my work out there is to travel. So I have been pretty much travelling ever since. – I have seen your website – http://www.redworks.ca . You take a lot of positive images of First Nations communities in Canada. You capture a lot of happy moments and really lovely images that will just give one positive energy by mere looking at them. You capture the kinds of moments that the media fails to show the public. You tour around Canada too. I want to know what inspired you to take on this kind of job? All the imagery that we were subject to while we were growing up, the native history – and that is not very positive and in the news and all that, seeing our stories and they are not portrayed in a positive light. It’ s all very negative – focusing on protesting and all that sort of trials and tribulations coverage that our people are always getting. Just looking at that overall and then thinking to myself, there is something that my art can do to help shed a more positive light on who we are as so many diverse Nations across Canada and even in the States too. I always come back to my artist statement. It’s on my website. – Have you experienced any challenges with your job? Yeah. Pretty much wherever I shoot. I don’t shoot in studio. One of the reasons Redworks was called Redworks studio at a time was because the intention I had was to actually open a studio in Toronto. I just travel so much and I love travelling and pretty much all of my shoots that I do are improvised, so there is the challenge in that and I really love shooting with natural available light. I don’t travel with big lighting kits. It’s just me and my camera. Another challenge I guess with being on the road is just, I guess, finding time for yourself. That would be the main challenge. Although, it’s become easier over the years. This is my seventh year of touring.  – You are really experienced at travelling. From all your experiences, what are some exceptional things that you have noticed about Canada? Like, is there a particular city that has an awesome landscape or maybe there is the best city to get waffles at? Hmmm … Well, BC is beautiful. It would be one of the most beautiful provinces I have ever been to. As far as different must-dos or must-haves in each city, I am not sure. – I have your vision statement here and I am actually going to read the part of it that I really like (and I saw a part of it in your recent CBC interview). It’s: “If our history is a shadow, let this moment serve as light. We are musicians, lawyers, doctors, mothers and sons. We are activists, scholars, dreamers, fathers and daughters. Let us claim ourselves now and see that we are, and will always be great, thriving, balanced civilizations capable of carrying ourselves into that bright new day.” That’s just beautiful. How did you come up with that? I am not sure where it came from. I was just really moved by how thriving and vibrant our Nations are and how much you don’t see that and for it to be partly poetic, I guess, is just how I write and how my personality or spirit expresses itself . A lot of people really connect with the statement. – What encouragement can you give to fellow Aboriginal-Canadians who are also interested in correcting the stereotype? I always say, “just go for it”. You have this life here, it’s important to go for it. Put away your fear. Once you think something and you put an idea out there, there is always people or situations that will come together to make it happen for you.

How To Contact Nadya Website: http://www.redworks.ca Twitter: @_RedWorks

Love,

Chiamaka.

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LET’S TALK AWARDS! – University of Waterloo’s Young Alumni Award Dinner 2014

I love to write about both the sweet and bitter sides of life, as most of you would have noticed by now. So, this time around I am writing about something sweet – getting awarded! Last week Thursday, my elder and only sister – Ebele Mogo was awarded with the University of Waterloo’s Young Alumni Award. The award dinner took place at Candela (a restaurant) in Calgary. It was an amazing event. Fifteen people were in attendance, including the university’s Dean of Science, Terry McMahon, two other staff of the university, my mother, brothers, six of my sister’s friends and I. It was great to see everyone at the event speak so well of my sister. Also, each of Ebele’s friends and family members present seemed to have been inspired by her in one way or the other. My sister has been an inspiration to me for a long time. Let me tell you a little about Ebele Mogo … At age 18, Ebele graduated from the University of Waterloo in 2009. In the summer of 2012, she established a non-governmental organization called Engage Africa Foundation http://www.engageafricafoundation.org. Ebele’s passion to stop the occurrence of non-communicable diseases in Sub-Saharan Africa led her to create the Foundation. She is currently a Doctor of Public Health candidate at the Colorado School of Public Health in the United States. Here is a link to Ebele’s blog, Street-side Convos – http://streetsideconvos.com where she inspires people to be creative and also, she motivates people to become successful entrepreneurs. It came to me as no surprise that the University of Waterloo chose her to be the recipient of their Young Alumni Award for this year 2014. It was a beautiful award event. Good venue and good food. The University of Waterloo staff that put the event together did a great job. I took some pictures from the event and am very excited to share them with you all! Here you go:

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Proud mama with Ebele

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The Calgary-based volunteers of Ebele’s NGO (from the right: Jade, Nneoma and Margot)

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Tomiwa Adaramola, the treasurer of the NGO

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The Dean of Science speaking of Ebele

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My dinner. It was so delicious.

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The Dean presenting Ebele with her award

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Sharon McFarlane, who played a huge part in organizing the event

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My mum, Dr. Felicia Mogo and I

Congratulations Ebele! I do hope that this post has inspired someone. Age is in no way a barrier to greatness.

Love,

Chiamaka.

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