Tag Archives: Relationships

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Openness and All That Good Stuff It Brings

Different people can interprete the word – openness in different ways and so, we can act on it in different ways. However, there are two aspects of openness from which people are likely to come to a consensus:

– loving more

– embracing our talents

The decision to become open to love comes with a desire to check your behaviours, your beliefs (e.g are there some hurtful stereotypes that you hold?) and a desire to be true to you. An openness to love requires that you become unselfish and share in others’ joy and that you be there to see them through hard times. You want to possess virtues that will attract the right friends and people into your life. With good relationships, come support and new learning experiences. It is true that the right people do not always come to good people, but when you have decided to be true to you, you know what you want in relationships and you can be selective and choose who you want to have in your life.

Most parts of the world are getting more and more open to love – we are learning about other cultures, and the belief in equality is now common across several nations. Openness has awesome benefits:)

Let us look at ‘being true to you’ from another openness perspective …

Openness means that you are true to you – that you are embracing every aspect of you. I believe that talent is innate in everyone and you just have to tap into it, in order to benefit. Be open to using your talents. Continually search for opportunities in which you could apply them and never deny that you have a particular talent (you never know what opportunities for success you are losing by doing that). Embrace your talents.

This second aspect of openness also requires that you be willing to accept change – this may require that you stop doing things in a particular way or that you improve on those things that you are already doing. In a constantly developing world, you must be willing to embrace change because innovations are being made at such a fast pace and one has to keep up:)

It is important to work on being open, that is – loving more, learning more and attracting opportunities for growth and success.

Love & Peace,

Chiamaka.

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Decluttering May Be Underrated

You probably always experience a feeling of relief when you complete an activity that has been on your mind or on your to-do-list, for some time. The relief that came upon me after I did some decluttering, this week, has been one of the main highlights of my week.

I got rid of both heavy and light university textbooks that I no longer needed, some of which I used back in my 1st year at university; in the process of re-organizing my room, I was able to make space by removing things that were no longer of value to me and some things that I knew that I would never use (e.g. manuals and tutorial CDs). These activities took time and were not easy to get done, however the after-effect of more space brought so much joy to me. Plus, the twist of the organizing process was how it pointed my mind to why decluttering is necessary not just in our homes, but also in our lives.

As human beings, we often practice decluttering (though we may not use that word. I never did till now:)), in our lives and in our relationships with people, including family members. At a point, you decide to stop asking a particular person for advice, you decide to stop going to unwind at a particular place e.t.c The happiness that I got from the decluttering that I did in my apartment, reminded of how happiness is sometimes the outcome when I practice decluttering in my relationships with people and essentially, in my life. Negative and fair-weather friends; your own tendency to stay at places that do not bring you joy; your tendency to patronize a particular store with bad customer service; your tendency to think negative and act negatively to people and so on – need a re-organization. In life, we constantly need to go through re-organizations because we continually meet new people; life brings different situations some of which can change our mindset and we become negative people at some level(s).

How can you declutter in your life? You can reduce the time that you spend with people who often hurt you with negative words and doubt, that is, if you cannot completely cut them off (especially, family members) by not picking their calls and by not contacting them; explore other stores that offer the service that you visit the bad-customer-service store for; when bad situations hit, try as much as you can to start doing those things that make you happy and talk to those positive, uplifting persons who are close to you.

Not allowing people’s negative words and actions easily get to me, and trying to stop making wrong meanings of things that people said or did without meaning to hurt me are major declutter tasks that I have been tackling for some time and I am finally making progress, especially with the former.

What are some declutter tasks that you are completing/have completed on yourself and with regard to your relationships? Let me know!:)

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Love,

Chiamaka.

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Relationships; Protecting & Opening Your Heart

My bestie. My ride or die. My day one. My BFF. Those are some appreciative, loving slangs that I don’t see myself using on anyone other than my sister and a future lover. Here’s the thing behind that – I am scared of trust. I am scared of wholly trusting someone who is not my sister, brother, father, mother or romantic partner (someone who has shown so much love to me to the point that I could take him in as family). This fear resulted from others’ stories of betrayal and also my personal experiences of disappointment from people that I trusted. Fear of disappointment resides within every individual. However, it should not hinder us from being the best people that we can be. We are all human and no human being is lacking of imperfection. I have failed people, and people have failed me too. My encounter with imperfection and disappointments in friendships have caused me to be patient in my relationships with amazing people. I try to reward some of my friends who I really appreciate. Trust me, I don’t use the technique of let’s share secrets with each other to keep my relationships blooming. However, I organize meet ups with them, call them non-extreme, but sweet and appreciative romantic names like Boo, Honey, Darling; I invite them to events that I will be attending. Also, thanks to technology, I check up on my good friends often. Good friendships are amazing. They boost your happiness, give you positive energy when you feel down and they empower you to keep being who you are as staying true to you has attracted some wonderful people into your life. Don’t be an Island, make friends, be good to your friends, be patient with the ones that make you happy and move away from those that make you sad and probably, make you doubt yourself. Yesterday, my sister and I had lunch with a friend, Omolade, who we had not seen in a while. We had lots of genuine bursts of laughter and it was a bonding moment. It was so admirable to see that a friendship that was built in a short period has stood the test of time, and holds a great deal of love. My sister still asks me in awe – How come she (Omolade) loves me like this? There must always be angels amidst a mixed up, confusing crowd.

My Questions For You? – Does  your fear of betrayal/disappointment restrict you in your relationships with people? – What are some things that you hope to do to build relationships with people? (Personally, I aim to start greeting my neighbours!)

Love & Peace,

Chiamaka.        

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