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“How Can I Respond?”

Personally, there are certain things that are going on in different parts of the world that make me hopeless for change sometimes, while there is the yearning within me that change should occur. When people complain about vices, they do so because they want a positive reformation. In your anger and sometimes, confusion, find strength to ask yourself – “How can I respond?”

You must not be a politician or a popular entrepreneur to be able to influence change. Every human being possesses powers to amend poor systems for the better. Each person needs to discover his/her own powers. The contributors to the Facebook group Am I Next? (raises awareness on the numerous cases of Aboriginal women getting murdered and going missing in Canada, and calls on the federal government to act), must have come to a realization that power lies within them and that with collective action, a change may come. Protesters in Ferguson have shown so much confidence in what they are defending and in the change that they seek. They have risen to their powers. Non-profit organizations, advocates on social media, everyone reading to get themselves more informed about social justice issues, people that are trying to change their own attitudes in order to influence positive change in their society – all these people have risen to their powers.

Change does start with you. If we do the right things in our personal lives, we are consciously or unconsciously influencing others positively. Your actions toward positive change can never be in vain. The Am I Next movement has so far generated the support of many Aboriginal women. The page has 3,464 members, at the moment. It definitely started with one member. Whoever decided to create the group inspired people to use their power of expression. I can imagine that the Facebook group has given Aboriginal women who have been pondering the question “How can I respond?”, an answer and some faith that change may come – that Aboriginal women will one day, hopefully soon, no longer be susceptible to murder.

The news of protests in Ferguson spread like wildfire on social media. When I see pictures from the protests, I see people who are tired of being executed because of the colour of their skin, because a dirty history of racism in the United States has made them susceptible to violence. I see the protesters in Ferguson as people who have risen to their powers. They are people who understand that black people in America, like  people from any other race, deserve to be treated fairly.

I was yearning to realize the power that I could use to help raise awareness on social justice issues and in the process, bring about positive change as much as I could. Creative writing was the power that I tapped into and based on the feedback that I have been getting, my objectives for this blog are coming into fruition. My friends, tap into your own powers. We can truly make the world a better place, if we start with ourselves.

Love & Peace,

Chiamaka.

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Decluttering May Be Underrated

You probably always experience a feeling of relief when you complete an activity that has been on your mind or on your to-do-list, for some time. The relief that came upon me after I did some decluttering, this week, has been one of the main highlights of my week.

I got rid of both heavy and light university textbooks that I no longer needed, some of which I used back in my 1st year at university; in the process of re-organizing my room, I was able to make space by removing things that were no longer of value to me and some things that I knew that I would never use (e.g. manuals and tutorial CDs). These activities took time and were not easy to get done, however the after-effect of more space brought so much joy to me. Plus, the twist of the organizing process was how it pointed my mind to why decluttering is necessary not just in our homes, but also in our lives.

As human beings, we often practice decluttering (though we may not use that word. I never did till now:)), in our lives and in our relationships with people, including family members. At a point, you decide to stop asking a particular person for advice, you decide to stop going to unwind at a particular place e.t.c The happiness that I got from the decluttering that I did in my apartment, reminded of how happiness is sometimes the outcome when I practice decluttering in my relationships with people and essentially, in my life. Negative and fair-weather friends; your own tendency to stay at places that do not bring you joy; your tendency to patronize a particular store with bad customer service; your tendency to think negative and act negatively to people and so on – need a re-organization. In life, we constantly need to go through re-organizations because we continually meet new people; life brings different situations some of which can change our mindset and we become negative people at some level(s).

How can you declutter in your life? You can reduce the time that you spend with people who often hurt you with negative words and doubt, that is, if you cannot completely cut them off (especially, family members) by not picking their calls and by not contacting them; explore other stores that offer the service that you visit the bad-customer-service store for; when bad situations hit, try as much as you can to start doing those things that make you happy and talk to those positive, uplifting persons who are close to you.

Not allowing people’s negative words and actions easily get to me, and trying to stop making wrong meanings of things that people said or did without meaning to hurt me are major declutter tasks that I have been tackling for some time and I am finally making progress, especially with the former.

What are some declutter tasks that you are completing/have completed on yourself and with regard to your relationships? Let me know!:)

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Love,

Chiamaka.

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Lest We Forget

This week was back-to-school for me and during my first class for a course that I am taking this semester, something beautiful happened. Before the professor proceeded with her main address to the class, she reminded us that we were seated on Algonquin land – Indigenous land. She said that not only to revere Canada’s Indigenous peoples who owned the land, but also, to spur gratitude in our heart towards them. Indigenous people are housing us as well as a lot of Ottawarians and non-Indigenous persons, on their land. So, I thought that was an important reminder.

Why do we have to put emphasis on recognizing certain people? – why are there public holidays set aside to recognize certain people?; why does the federal government of Canada hold state funerals for select deceased politicians?; why do people share quotes by certain individuals, on social media? e.t.c.

My conception is that to encourage people, generations and societies; reminders (in whatever form they take) of what fellow persons have said, done or written, are necessary.

On Martin Luther King Jr. Day, I tend to remember the Dream and I feel encouraged for the world. Inspirational quotes can lift you up. When I watch state funerals, the idea of how strong, positive and long-lasting our impact on people and a society could be, is reinforced in me. Hearing/reading information about awardees of a program or an event can motivate you to strive to accomplish lots. During Remembrance Month (November) in Canada, I begin to have an inner appreciation of the fallen soldiers who have defended the country; I also become very aware of how much soldiers, not just Canadian ones, but how much soldiers in general, sacrifice for their country and their fellow citizens. 

Such distinct recognitions and reminders have invaluable effects on people. We humans always need to be encouraged and it is great that through technology which connects us to the global society, and our local societies that recognize some amazing citizens, we can be instantly inspired, encouraged and/or motivated.

My Question For You

– What specific recognition(s) of you and/or other people have inspired you and in what way?

Love,

Chiamaka.

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Government Is People, The Public Is People Too

It is people who stop vices, who change communities and it is also people who make up governments. That is just a reminder that no matter your position in your country, you can look around your community and/or the country and try to help where a change is needed. It is people who make change, whether they are categorized as a government or just as members of the public.

I recently visited my country, Nigeria, after nearly three years of being away in Canada. As I was driven around in Lagos, I was not impressed with a lot of things that I observed. For instance, there were hardly any direction signs in sight; there were little or no traffic controllers (people basically struggle for lanes). Such things made me sad. Especially as I was aware that I was in a country that has so much resources and great potential. Nigeria just lacks enough people in government and even people among the public who are ready to move it forward. A development that is long overdue.

The Nigeria that I grew up in, was one where the federal government was constantly blamed for the near stagnancy of the country. Don’t get me wrong, it is completely normal and actually, very necessary that members of the public keep the government accountable when things are going wrong. Government accountability is a great resource, especially for people who are disadvantaged e.g. the poor and the disabled. If you do not belong to any of those categories, waiting solely on government accountability may become illogical, if you do not act on your own, even in little ways. Again, this is because it is people who make change, whether they are categorized as a government or just as members of the public. Back to the point – most Nigerians blame the government a lot but some of us members of the public also contribute to the pathetic state of the country.

When you see immigration officers helping either people who they know or people who have paid them or both, to skip waiting for long hours to get new or renewed passports, you wonder if the government is the only one to blame. When a woman requests that you help her hold her bag then return it to her after you have successfully passed through the security search point at the airport, you wonder if the government is the only one to blame. When you hear that examination centres are set up with officials, who supply senior high school students with answers, you wonder if the government is the only one to blame. When you observe that a presidential candidate is endorsed not on merit but for the mere fact that he or she and the endorser are from the same tribe or state, you wonder if the government is the only one to blame.

People, human beings can be powerful forces of positive change. We can also be powerful at stagnating progress. The power to choose which category we want to belong to lies within us. I will choose the first option. I want a progressive Nigeria. I want every society that I am affiliated with, to move forward in a positive way. The Nigerian government needs a reformation and so does the public. Entertainers, philanthropists, doctors, lawyers, business people, writers, … just to mention a few; please use your position in the society to convince fellow Nigerians to do what is right for the country. Also, please educate the public on the importance of voting only for political candidates who merit the crown that they want to wear.

Again, it is people who make change, whether they are categorized as a government or just as members of the public.

Love & Peace,

Chiamaka

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What Are You Committing To?

Yesterday, I skimmed through a calendar from my church that was hanging in my parents’ kitchen when I came across the picture of a man who has been working at that church for as long as I can remember. What came to my mind, as I was reflecting on his picture was the word – commitment. He has put hours, months and years of his life into something that he is not in charge of overall and something that he probably does free of charge. I thought: You could only be committed like that to something that you love.

Being committed to the right thing is not always possible with all things that you try your hands at. You can spend years doing a particular thing, before you decide that you are better off being committed to something else. Commitment takes time, effort and in some cases, money – things that should not be wasted. So, it is okay to be using your skills for the wrong person and the wrong job. Sometimes, that suffering is desperately needed e.g to have money to pay bills; but don’t stay doing that for long. Once you are lucky enough to figure out the direction that you need to take in life given your talents and ideas, and the means to achieve your goals, don’t let that opportunity slip away. 

As maturity sets into my life as I grow older, I am figuring out what I want to be committed to. There are certain job opportunities that I see and think – I should use my ability to be committed for another project. I don’t want to waste my time. 

You don’t want to be committed to the wrong program throughout your four years as an Undergraduate student. You don’t want to be committed to a government that violates human rights. You want to use your ideas to help a success-oriented organization achieve its goals. You do not want to keep giving your well-sought ideas out to organizations, businesses and the government, while you are yet to establish financial independence for yourself. Don’t waste your ability to be committed.

Also, since friendships deserve commitment, do not waste your commitment on fair-weather friends and/or on people who bring you down. Friendships deserve love, honesty and loyalty from all people involved in the circle. Thus, do not waste your ability to be committed to such virtues as mentioned above for ‘friends’ who do not seem to reciprocate your goodness.

Commitment is a major key to achieving success. When I read people’s success stories, I see steps of commitment to a purposeful cause. Such people focus their ability to stay committed on the right things when they are lucky to understand what those things should be. If you don’t channel that virtue – the virtue of staying committed, into the right things, how can you change stereotypes, unethical norms, help to change the world, help turn a company’s finances around for good, be a light to people who need encouragement and love? Please channel that virtue to the right things:)

 Love,

Chiamaka.

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The Inevitability of Struggle & Where Your Powers Come In

Don’t you just admire people who seem to be in love with themselves and life? I certainly do. I admire people who seem to be portraying no one but their genuine self, even if I can’t fit into all the features of some of these individuals. I am scared to have a permanent tattoo or more piercings asides the ones I got as a baby. I am not bold enough to use some specific colours on my hair (I dye my hair blonde. I can’t dye it blue or pink, for example). However, I observe with awe, people who have and are wearing such features with confidence and some sort of infectious happiness. 

While nobody has it easy in life, you can control the tides sometimes. Especially when you make keeping yourself happy a top priority.

My self-confidence and content with myself took a sharp dive, last year. Luckily, I started strengthening myself by sticking to the things that make me happy and also, by searching for new ways to be happy.

It is important to be mindful of what makes you happy and be faithful to that thing because when the tide of depression, rejection, negativity, heartbreak and/or financial instability e.t.c – in summary, the tide of unhappiness, comes running, you need a plan B to shift your focus. I continue to discover people and things that make me happy and I am determined to stick with them. Since tides are an inevitable feature of life, I am learning to deal with them better.

One of my approaches is – trying not to judge others on the basis of my own life. As human beings, we tend to do so. I am learning and trying to listen better in order to understand people’s constructive criticism and harmless comments which I may normally take to heart, in a negative way. As it is great to humble yourself and take correction, advice and even jokes, it is also necessary to learn how to deal with negative people. My sister, Ebele Mogo, once told me – Don’t let people transfer their negative energy to you.

That statement continues to be at the back of my mind. There is no doubt that when people choose negativity, their words and actions hurt, but their negativity is not for you to bear. Negativity is like a communicable disease, it spreads easily. So, you have to prevent it from getting to you.

I acquired another approach to dealing with tides after reading the following sentence in Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project, this week – “And rumination—dwelling on slights, unpleasant encounters, and sad events—leads to bad feelings.” In summary – let go.

I choose to control life’s tides by being mindful of the people and things that boost my happiness and by sticking to the tips that I have gathered so far, on how to be patient with people and to avoid negativity from sticking with me. My advice is that you do same. 

Tell me, what are some happiness tips that you have? I will love to know!:) 

Love & Peace,

Chiamaka.

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Don’t Tell Him That His Blackness Doesn’t Matter. Certainly Not In America

Sometimes, I wonder if to call the history of racial prejudice against blacks in America, a history. After all, that hideous, heartbreaking past continues to repeat itself in this 21st century. 

America is still filled with unbelievable racial prejudice and it seems that with a police badge, the solution on how to act on such a mindset is solved. You come up with your own judgement before the interference of the court(s) and serve it to that black-skinned, human-sized prey who luck turned down. It is only a matter of minutes before your catch lay lifeless on the ground. 

An eyewitness said that Michael Brown put his hands in the air and exclaimed that he was unarmed, but still that inner judgment had to be passed. Eric Garner was unarmed; 17-year old Trayvon Martin was unarmed; so was Kendrec Mcdade; Orlando Barlow was unarmed; Timothy Stansbury Jr. was unarmed: Amadou Diallo unarmed, was shot at 41 times and hit by the bullet 19 times. The list does not stop there … not at all.

Police officers like the one who killed Eric Garner with an illegal chokehold; the one who killed Trayvon Martin (cop is part Hispanic); the one who killed Michael Brown; the ones who killed Amadou Diallo and the one who killed Orlando Barlow; all white, are not helping America become a progressive country with regard to the way it treats its minorities (African Americans). Every time unlawful white on black violence occurs in the United States, in this century, a past of filthy racism is brought back to mind and healing wounds begin to hurt afresh. 

The rules that black families give to their male children are likely different from those of white families to their sons. There are a lot of precautions to be taken by the black male child in America. For the parents, the rule book probably does not consist only of:

– Be polite

– Be friendly

– Look right, left and right again, before crossing the road

– Pray before you eat. 

There are probably much more rules for the African-American male child. Rules which will be distinct from that of the white child and scary too. Rules that emphasize taking extra care because the black man’s life seems to be deemed worthless by some.

So, do not tell the black man, in America, that his blackness does not matter, that his skin colour cannot make him disadvantaged. Not when that unchangeable factor has caused innocent people to be suspects and suspects to be killed without getting a chance to go before a judge. Also, do not try to console him with the fact that the President of America is black or tell him that a diverse group of people support some A-list black musicians because it is the ones who are not fortunate enough that are prone to fatal hate. 

Let actions convince him. 

Love & Peace,

Chiamaka.

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Defying Borders To Build A More Peaceful & Just World

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I have observed and experienced that the limiting objective of borders can be useless, if you are determined to achieve your social justice goals. Many people in different parts of the world continually show candor towards the conception that borders should not stop us from trying to make a difference in the world by promoting peace, fairness and equality (in a nutshell – social justice). For the purpose of this post, we will look at the word borders from two different perspectives –

Borders could be the limiting and negative thoughts that come up in our mind or dissuasive negative thoughts that we acquire from other people’s perceptions of things and their fears. Then, borders could be the physical boundaries that separate nations from each other. 

As my eldest brother was driving me home from the airport upon my arrival to Calgary, on Saturday, he mentioned that there have been several protests held in Calgary, for peace in Palestine. I was amazed and touched. Note that Calgary is in Canada and far away from Palestine. However, some Calgarians felt the hurt of Palestinians so much that they took to the roads to protest for freedom.

There are other cases of solidarity in the midst of possible inner limitations and/or several differences that have taken place in our world. Here are a few instances:

– In the wake of the kidnap of more than 200 school girls in Borno state, Nigeria, lots of campaigns started in Nigeria and around the world with the now popular phrase – Bring Back Our Girls. Peaceful protests took place in Ottawa and Toronto. Also, #BringBackOurGirls has become a trending hashtag on Twitter.

– Many people showed up for the rally organized in July after Eric Garner was killed. People have also taken to Twitter to express their desire of what they wish to occur in the aftermath of the very shocking and sad incident, as #JusticeForEricGarner is now a trending hashtag on Twitter.

Amidst the constancy of barbaric acts on human beings by fellow humans, hope still blooms because there are still SEVERAL people in the world who value the rights of our humanity. Such people do not silently observe the violation of others’ human rights, no matter where such an act is occurring at.

An important thing to note is that societies that value human rights tend to be peaceful, so imagine if all parts of the world valued same – we all will become citizens of a peaceful world. Are you willing to help make such a great progression by overcoming some mental and physical borders (without changing location), starting in your own society? I sure hope that the answer is “Yes”. 🙂

Love & Peace,

Chiamaka.

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Why Love and Business Do Go Together

One of the best pieces of advice that can be given to someone is – Follow your passion.

Rephrasing the above advice to the focus of today’s blogpost – Build a business that is based on your passion.

When you own a business, you should truly be your own boss. If you build a business based on something that you are genuinely passionate and knowledgeable about, that is attractive. Customers derive the confidence to buy a product through the character and words of the seller. Also, possible future business partners will like to join a team that is built on realistic goals, lots of wisdom and passion for the job. So, if you are the boss of something that you do not have a serious interest in except for the financial profit and even so, are yet to gather information about the job, business is headed for trouble.

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Also, care must be at the heart of your business. You may love the job that you have created, but you must care about the people that you are serving. If you are just all about the money, you may not win so much in business. Show care for your clients and people that want to patronize your business. Ask them about their personal lives (e.g “How was your day?”, “How was work?”, “For how long have you lived in this city?” e.t.c). Ask them if they have any allergies (depends on the kind of business that you do). People love when they have a personal relationship with their service provider. Such a bond automatically puts that seller at the top of the customer’s list every time the latter needs to get that kind of service (which must be offered by more than one person).

Do not want money so much that you forget to take the customer’s needs as a priority. Do not convince your customer to buy the more expensive product when the cheaper one will be more effective. If you do not have the product that will be best for your customer, it is fine, let the customer leave or make a recommendation. Also, you can learn from clients. If you have noticed that lots of people have asked of a particular product that you do not have, maybe it is time you started selling that product, then:)

The best backdrop for a business plan is passion. Love what you do and care for your clients and the people that want to patronize you.

Love,

Chiamaka.

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THE GARNER MURDER CASE: We Are Not Done Till There Is Absolute Justice

Two weeks ago, I wrote on a murder incident that left me in great shock and deep sadness, for a while. It was the Eric Garner murder. If you have not read about the incident yet, click here to do so. I have continued to follow the aftermath of the sad event, amidst public outcry and the Mayor of New York, Bill de Blasio’s interest in an investigation.

It was worrisome that nearly two weeks after, there had been no significant positive development on the case. I have been scared that the Eric Garner murder will become one of those cases that though clearly deserve justice, would miss the honour. However, last week, on Friday to be precise, I read a news report stating that autopsy has confirmed that Eric Garner was indeed killed by cops from the New York Police Department (NYPD). He died from the chokehold. Also, according to the New York Daily News, ““prone positioning during physical restraint by police”” contributed to Garner’s death. 

That is very encouraging news. Yes, it was obvious from photos that the chokehold from an NYPD cop who was assisted by other police officers who were holding Garner down, killed the 43-year old. However, autopsy confirming the cause of death is probably part of the due process for an investigation. I would like to state that – through the autopsy, the obvious has been confirmed for the courts! 

I am now hoping that this latest development/great evidence will be put to good use by the courts. Like I wrote in my first article on Eric Garner, justice in the American justice system often seems to take a plunge when an African-American is the victim. So, I am far from ceasing to raise awareness on the illegal execution of Eric Garner by NYPD cops – Garner’s supposed-to-be protectors.

Please join the Garner family, others and myself to keep seeking justice for Eric Garner. Use the already existing hashtag – #JusticeForEricGarner on your social media networks such as Facebook and Twitter. Also invite your friends to join in on this great cause.

Peace & #JusticeForEricGarner,

Chiamaka.

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