Don’t you just admire people who seem to be in love with themselves and life? I certainly do. I admire people who seem to be portraying no one but their genuine self, even if I can’t fit into all the features of some of these individuals. I am scared to have a permanent tattoo or more piercings asides the ones I got as a baby. I am not bold enough to use some specific colours on my hair (I dye my hair blonde. I can’t dye it blue or pink, for example). However, I observe with awe, people who have and are wearing such features with confidence and some sort of infectious happiness. 

While nobody has it easy in life, you can control the tides sometimes. Especially when you make keeping yourself happy a top priority.

My self-confidence and content with myself took a sharp dive, last year. Luckily, I started strengthening myself by sticking to the things that make me happy and also, by searching for new ways to be happy.

It is important to be mindful of what makes you happy and be faithful to that thing because when the tide of depression, rejection, negativity, heartbreak and/or financial instability e.t.c – in summary, the tide of unhappiness, comes running, you need a plan B to shift your focus. I continue to discover people and things that make me happy and I am determined to stick with them. Since tides are an inevitable feature of life, I am learning to deal with them better.

One of my approaches is – trying not to judge others on the basis of my own life. As human beings, we tend to do so. I am learning and trying to listen better in order to understand people’s constructive criticism and harmless comments which I may normally take to heart, in a negative way. As it is great to humble yourself and take correction, advice and even jokes, it is also necessary to learn how to deal with negative people. My sister, Ebele Mogo, once told me – Don’t let people transfer their negative energy to you.

That statement continues to be at the back of my mind. There is no doubt that when people choose negativity, their words and actions hurt, but their negativity is not for you to bear. Negativity is like a communicable disease, it spreads easily. So, you have to prevent it from getting to you.

I acquired another approach to dealing with tides after reading the following sentence in Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project, this week – “And rumination—dwelling on slights, unpleasant encounters, and sad events—leads to bad feelings.” In summary – let go.

I choose to control life’s tides by being mindful of the people and things that boost my happiness and by sticking to the tips that I have gathered so far, on how to be patient with people and to avoid negativity from sticking with me. My advice is that you do same. 

Tell me, what are some happiness tips that you have? I will love to know!:) 

Love & Peace,

Chiamaka.

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